That's What I'm Talking About

I've was watching a woman walking with her young boys. She was helping the younger one on a tricycle thingy while the older one was on his Razor scooter. I remember Parker at both those ages and how much fun we had going on walks. But my first thought was I'm glad he's older. I thought at every age it was the "best"age, but as he gets older I enjoy him more and more. How can that be? I loved the baby stage, I loved the toddler stage, I loved the elementary years and middle school years. It just gets better and better. It doesn't get easier just better. 

This car stage is fun. He turns 16 in June and already got his new car. He is becoming more and more responsible every day. I love it. Soon he will be gone. That's OK because I expect it to just get better and better. It always does! 

I did It

I walked. A real walk. Not the dog walks around neighborhood. A real walk with hills. It was 45 minutes up the "big" hill and back. I used to do this walk often. My back was aching, but now it's not. It felt good to get out and do something.

I ate a yogurt w/ blueberries before I left and now I'm shaky, so I'm eating a Luna protein bar. :) I tired the oat bran w/ almond butter but it didn't go down. It had a good taste. I'm always just not hungry in the morning until it hits, then I'm ravished. I'm also drinking a huge glass of water something I don't get enough of when I teach!!! Happy Sunday.

Today

Today I'm back on track. That's how I roll, one day out of three months. LOL I'm constantly held back by stress. As soon as I de-stress the other me emerges. The "me" that wants to eat healthy and exercise and has energy. I don't know how to share that energy with my job and with my personal life. After a day of teaching I just want to come home and get in bed and re-charge. Bad habit. Working with at-risk kids is emotionally draining. I need to find a better balance.

This morning I made oat bran cereal with almond milk and a couple of spoonfuls of almond butter. Jenna@ Eat, Live, Run eats a version of this. It was OK..but I put in too much almond. I've never been fond of oatmeal unless I have toast with it or unless it has a lot of sugar. So I think I'll stick to my yogurt and fruit!!

The Present

Three of the last four weeks I've had headaches. Don't know if it's the pollen in the air or what, but it was not fun. It was enough to get me off track of being healthy. This time I'm going to start noting my feelings and try to separate them from food and see if I can actually do that.

In the Moment

It's early morning and the world around me is slowly waking up. My head is slightly hurting, a sign I should take my migraine pill although I really don't want to because I don't want to have to lay down or feel the effects of the pill. I'll wait to see if it goes away.
 I've enjoyed this spring break. I needed it so much. I had two drs. appts, a physical therapy consult, got my hair cut and highlighted for spring, took Jack in to be neutered, read two books and I still have today!!!
I wish to be able to write on here daily. I want to record and reflect more. Slow down. Start making my mind let go of things easier. I can attempt it and see how it goes. I seem to only write on here when I'm not working and the creativity is put to this.

 

In the moment. That is how I want to live. I don't want to go back to my childhood and continue using those feelings as excuses. I want to go back to my childhood and remember good friends and family times. In the moment I want to love and live. 

Back to Work

I'm going to work after being off for 8 days because of my surgery. Luckily I've been able to keep up with emails and grading from home. We are doing semester tests this week and so the kids are there just 1/2 days which is a nice transition for me. I'm so blessed to feel so good. Thank you!!!!! In return I promise to take better care of my body and not be such a glutton :) Love, me!!

Post Surgery

My surgery seems to be a success!!!!!! As I awoke in the recovery room my first thought was : I feel no pain. I said, "It doesn't hurt anymore!!!" No more leg pain!! Just amazing to me. My back hurts of course. I will have back pain for a while, but that is to be expected. I do have a lot of pain meds to get me though this, but I'm going to assume that nothing will be as painful as what I have been going through since last Friday :) I have so much to be thankful for. I hope I can take this experience and use it to better my body and myself. Thank you God and the Universe for this experience!!

Pre-Surgery

I'm having back surgery tomorrow.
 It's called a "Minimally Invasive Lumbar Tubular Microdiscectomy"
 In other words the doctor will make a small incision in my back, go in with a scope and camera and remove a bit of the spine, move my nerve out of the way, trim my "bulge"(the disc that is protruding), replace the nerve and hopefully that will do the trick.
My only fear is that I will still have pain.
Or that it won't work.
But I think it will be better then what I'm dealing with now.
For the last 5 days I haven't been able to walk, stand straight, or feel painless. It's been a nightmare.

  This is me right now. I look and feel like crap.  Things can only get better :) LOL

Fresh

this is the old me

I love new beginnings.
I love change.
I love a balance between change and security.
I love positive more than negative.
It is so much easier to complain than be grateful and yet the gratitude is so much more productive and beautiful.

After not being able to walk because of my back yesterday, a vision of me in wheel chairs, canes, walkers invaded my head.
That was fast.

Ha.  I realize how much I take my health for granted.

Everyday lately I've been eating whatever I want and whenever I want with no regard to the outcome.  I've got to think differently. I've got to add some discipline into my life. I've got to quit rewarding myself with food.
Food is fuel and food is life, but it shouldn't consume my life.
Fresh. Start.

Get ready to see the "New Me".....emerge !! Photos to come in the future!

Resolutions

                                                            Molly~ January 1st, 2020




Here are my new resolutions for the New Year. 

The first set involves HEALTH

1. Make an extreme effort to walk every day. I will start with a walk to the mail box. Then a ten minute walk...then more as my back permits. As I get my back/ leg better I will use walking as my stress reliever outside connection. 

2. I want to use Yoga as a tool for strengthening my body. I will do a pose a day and work up from there. 

3. I will journal all my food every day. Good or Bad. 

4. I will take more of an active stance on my back/leg. I will try to get it fixed. Surgery or not, I've got to end the pain. 

5. Keep Moving. Keep Moving. Keep Moving. Keep Moving. 

6. I will loose weight. I have set a goal of 25 lbs to be reached by summer. I'll adjust as necessary. :) 

The second set involves my MIND

1. I want to read more books. A goal is 12 books this year. I'll start with the four I'm currently reading and not finished with!

2. I want to blog regularly. I will keep the weight loss blog and the other blog updated at least weekly. If I do more...then great.

3. I need a hobby. I am interested in photography. I need to pursue that. I'll look into classes. 

4. I will keep up with Bunco and force myself to be more social. I will talk more in groups.

Well that's all I've got for now. It's a big order to fill. It seems doable right now...but then I'll get a headache and make an excuse. Or my back will hurt and I'll be so down that I will not walk. I guess the important thing is to get back up and try again. :)