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It's empty~ but not for long. 

I have lost a total of 50 to 54 lbs depending on the weight fluctuation I get. I weigh the same now as I did last year. The only difference now is that I have more muscle.  I thought I would be easily at my goal by now. Not so. I still have about 20-30 lbs to loose.  I'm bummed and need to do something~ change something up. So I'm starting with journaling again. I will post a picture weekly of what I'm doing..until it becomes a habit. I'm walking 2.5-3 miles nightly which I guess is now doing nothing for me…so frustrating. I bike ride 25 miles once to twice a week. I need to add more exercise and eat less I guess. So hard! 

Still Learning

Even after loosing 55 lbs. I still find myself using food as a crutch. This week I let go and ate what I wanted. I've been sitting here grading papers and thinking about why....I have two reasons. I think. One is I'm very stressed with school this year and this week and last have been riddled with headaches, so I let myself let the headaches take over. In the past year I refused to "EAT" them away. Not this week. I wanted to eat and eat I did. Sunday I rode my mountain bike some 30 miles. It was exhausting. I fell and busted up my knee. Monday morning the scale was high. I let go of reason( yes, my second reason) and got sad about it( I know better- muscle weighs more at first)...by Thursday the scale was way down. But in the meantime I had let myself eat and eat and eat. But you know, I can't just remember to not let the scale rule my life. All I can do is let tomorrow be better and learn from today. I'm still learning. 

The Summer of Repair

My goal this summer is to get the things on my body fixed that are fixable. I'm working on my varicose veins. UGH...Below is a "before" picture taken several years ago. It's obvious which leg is affected. Now that I've lost the weight, I've been working on getting them removed. The weight loss has make them protrude even more.

The process in expensive and very painful. This picture is the after effects of the larger vein on the top of the back of my thigh. It looks way better now! But took a long time for the bruisig to go away. I recently had the veins removed from my calf and I'm not happy at all with the rusults. I go in today for another treatment and in a couple weeks will post the "after " results. 

Tomorrow I go in to have my herniated belly button fixed. I've had this for 17 years- since the birth of my big baby- Parker! I'm so dreading it. But it's the summer of repair and time to get it fixed and move on! 

Spring Break!

I've really dropped the bucket with my picture a day and blog. Work got the best of me. It's draining to say the least- mentally that is. But it's spring break and I have a week off! I can find myself again which is always nice.

Parker is in Colorado with his cousin and her husband. He's having a good time. It's his first time away from us - where he's the one gone. He's doing ok and not homesick. I miss him, but it's been a nice break and a taste of how it will be when he is gone for good. I love hearing his stories of what happened that day. 

I hope he hasn't been a huge hassle for them. I guess we'll find out if any manners he's been taught have emerged! 

I am still on board with my weight loss! To date I've lost 45 lbs. I may have gained some back this week- Hubby and I over did the eating out this weekend. What was I thinking? I also have been doing boredom eating...that is the worst. I think I've got control over it now...and it's already Thursday! Ha I've really walked  and worked out and that is awesome. 

I've been walking 3-4 miles daily. With the time change I'm adding in bike riding. I plan to start doing push ups and sit-ups. Good old fashioned stuff that works. I also want to concentrate on eating at home more on the weekends. Eating out has gotten so routine. Time to find something else to entertain us!! 

If I want to loose these last 40 lbs I've really got to focus on healthy eating and beef up the exercise.

It's Been One Year

 One Year. It's been that long since my mom died....I wrote about her plenty in the past,  so no more today....but she would be proud to know I've lost 20 lbs. since July.

She always always struggled with her weight from her 40's on up. Just like me. She was so tiny before. She claims it was the Polio she got when she was in her early 20's....after that she had to watch her weight.

I say it was having 6 kids and being of German descent. Just go to one of our family reunions and you will see what I'm talking about!

 In her later years when she had diabetes she got much bigger, then  when she was 75 or so she went off the insulin and onto some other medication and the weight fell off. She had both knees replaced, her back worked on, was diabetic, had numerous (odd I think) little do- dads of illnesses,  and so exercise was hard for her. But she did water aerobics and took care of her own house and garden with minimal help from her kids. Yes, at age 79 she had a garden.

Anyway, Mom...Hello Up There ... I'm doing great! I'm exercising every day. Still battling headaches, but fewer (hurry menopause- my doc thinks they will stop then)  and fewer. My job is going well and I'm eating like a healthy person- you would be pleased. Miss you :)